Starved for what is meant to be eaten slowly and consistently, many of us are raised inhaling emotionally powerful shapes of detrimental romantic love. In our naiveté, it never dawns upon us how truly devastating it would be for us to reach our death bed having lived the disturbing tragic love screenplay. Interestingly, those who have lived through one are amazed that their unhealthy relationship ended.
They go on to spend years of their life stuck in some black hole mourning over something that wasn't even close to real love simply because it made them feel like shit at least 75% of the time. Drawn to the dark side, comfortable in a state of misery and suffering - these are indications that something knocked them off kilter as they were trying to form into their own person. My bet is this something was a someone and their name was either mom or dad, perhaps both.
Essentially, the human being is a container of energy. An encounter with that one soul who has the effortless ability to move sweetly, yet forcefully, through our soul like a mighty pheromone, will inevitably (but unintentionally,) cause our weak relational foundation to come crumbling down in addition to our personal walls. Individuals, who get swooped into dysfunctional relationships with highly disturbing attributes, really don't know what a real love story is, because they aren't quite sure what a real life one even looks like.
After experiencing a heartfelt encounter with another soul, their inability to embrace the beauty of real love and their apprehension to let it breathe them in, remains incomprehensible to their psyche for quite some time. What wakes them up is their growing awareness that the desire to experience such an amazing kind of love, doesn't diminish, and they learn this when they unsuccessfully fight like hell to kill it. But instead of dying, it merely grows until combustion occurs.
Overcome with fright, they retreat into survival mode because no one knows better then they, that losing what one has never had – sincere, beautiful, unconditional love - but that one has always wanted, literally holds the power to unleash detrimental consequences. Honestly, who would sign up to even potentially display such a lack of self control? But when the love is real, it's not going anywhere. Trust that and just make a daily attempt to move forward in a direction that will, in time, feel more comfortable and natural.
Real love is not a battlefield, but everyone should enter into it as they would a sport - with caution - and they must play at their own risk. Choose to play with the wrong person, and be prepared to spend the rest of your life spent with that person, fooling yourself into believing that what you have found is actually love. Also, kiss an authentic life (the one intended for you,) goodbye, because your soul will in time, freeze up, in order to survive a chilly, false, love affair day-after-day. Know this - NO ONE is guaranteed that the damage done while in a dysfunctional relationship, can be reversed. This is ultimately the tragedy of a "tragic love" ending.
For many people, it's simply too late. One morning they wake up and realize their heart is permanently smashed between the numbing life chapters responsible for turning it to stone in the first place. Is that what you want for yourself? Or do you want real love and to be really loved? Daily misery or joy? Consumed by thoughts of what may have been...what is out there...or sincere contentment? And let's say you do find real love - are you going to risk losing the gift of a second shot because you're actually mourning what was never even love in the first place? A large percentage of the outcome of your personal happiness is up to you. So, what are you going to do about it? Either way, a decision has to be made eventually.
The human soul is only designed to endure so much grief and heartache. Eventually it will become permanently altered and have no choice but to join the side where true love and joy do not live because there is no life over there, at least not with that other person. Until we can understand why we can't let true love in, it is up to us to take the wheel and steer our heart in a direction navigated by our brains and perhaps rely on a little help from our (true) friends.
Things will work themselves out because we were originally made to take this path. And as we walk forward, ironically forgetting the bad and taking with us only the good memories, we need to remind ourselves that the loving thing to do, is to let go of someone we know deep down, is not meant for us, so that both people have the same chance of potentially meeting and joining into a union with another soul whose blueprint compliments their own.
